Wardy’s Wagers: Coronavirus may be closing stadiums – but Cheltenham is still on

What travels at one hundred miles an hour and has people running for their lives?

A sneeze. Another week and another lot of fuss about coronavirus.

Or, as Cockneys are now calling it, a bit of the old Miley Cyrus.

It is so bad I hear it has hit the Seven Dwarfs. Doc had to put Sneezy down.

Like dwarfism, this disease is a growing issue.

Experts are confident that washing our hands regularly will combat it.

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But they say they are expecting an ­outbreak of OCD.

There is still no cure and I’m concerned for the future of vegans.

Where do they stand on the issue of the search for a coronavirus vaccine if it involves testing on animals?

The outbreak has also pushed back the release of the new James Bond film.

We’ll just have to watch No Time To Die another day.

Or could they change the title to Quarantine Of Solace or A Flu To A Kill?

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It’s been great for companies who make sanitising gel – they must be rubbing their hands together.

Coronovirus could also shut Parliament for months. So, every cloud…

But don’t panic.

Statistically, you’re more ­likely to get hit by a bus or ­attacked by a Tottenham ­player than die from the virus.

And, despite fears of ­cancellation, the Cheltenham Festival is ON next week.

My tip of the week is MIN in the Ryanair Chase on Thursday.

Paddy Power – 3/1

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